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Archive for February, 2004|Monthly archive page

Tyrannical

In Life on February 12, 2004 at 5:00 am
Date: February 11, 2004 9:00:00 PM PST
Subject: Tyrannical




Actually played some basketball at church tonight; it felt very good to be active again. I watch Michael Moores documentary “Bowling for Columbine.” A very excellent insight into America and its passion for guns and the fear that grips our country… I feel like ranting, but not about those such topics… But on Forum Administration… There are forums our there… which will remain nameless… But The Admins are complete morons… Tyrannical at the least… Locking this and that… deleting posts in the name of spam… There is more fear of Spam than actually noticing when someone has posted a decent idea… Oi!!! But isn’t a forum supposed to be fun? I understand that there are times when the Admin needs to step in… But don’t be a Nazi… Ugh… The frustrations…. Anyways… The JNPX… the long awaited XCOM Film is having a documentary filmed about it… Should prove to be very interesting… We begin shooting the documentary Saturday…. Pray for us… “its happening again, My God, what have we gotten ourselves into…. =] -SainT

“The Happiest night of my life”

In Life on February 7, 2004 at 5:00 am
Date: February 6, 2004 9:00:00 PM PST
Subject: “The Happiest night of my life”
Source: web.me.com


I went to my old High Schools homecoming… It was as if I had stepped into a time machine and turned back the moments of my life. I felt that my time at KCC was only a dream and the relationship I gained there were only a part of this dream. I truly felt I was home, yet the feeling was warm and inviting… That urning and desire… was for once silenced… it was strange as it was calm. It was a desire to be apart of that world again… Well, let my clarify… Not to go back to High School, but returning home to many relationships that I was forced to forsake to begin with. Now also let me clarify my position once again… My time at KCC was not a dark time, it was very bright indeed. There was wonderful times and friendships that I will cherish for times to come. But to understand my state, is to understand that I had been forced from many comforts and friendships… Yet I do not complain, but I can not help but feel that I’ve been rushed… And had to learn the tune along the way. Alas And now, that life has been returned, but I know it will not last… I will have to journey on and leave it once again…

 

JNP DAY again

In Life on February 2, 2004 at 5:00 am
Date: February 1, 2004 9:00:00 PM PST
Subject: JNP DAY again



There comes a time when you know you need to blog…
JNP day, all over again…

I left kentucky on the 23rd, ironic as it might seem… The day of the JNP PIO which was unfortunately postponed because of it. The last three weeks seemed to be the longest and quickest three weeks of my life. So much happened in such a small amount time. It all seems like a distance memory now. The world is truly much bigger than Grayson =] not to mention KCC… I had enjoyed my time at KCC and in that wonderful small town… I had the pleasure of many great friendships and didn’t think I’d ever leave. Yet the time to grow up had finally arrived, God came to me at 3:00 am on a Sunday morning… It was a swift kick in the butt, there was no handshake to it. The need to leave was more than apparent…

The claritiy of the vision irrefutable… The Choice, nearly impossible… It was clearly from God. This wasn’t your standard visit from God that we all read about and watch in movies… It was just a simple run of the mill, knowing what needed to be done in a instant… That comes with some sort insurance that State Farm would kill for. Far Far, too many times have I had this feeling and ingored it. But for once I followed through, and low and behold it almost killed me. But such is the will of God, it’s never pretty but always ends up beautiful, proper and right. My time in Grayson was up, I had put it off for far too long. I had graduate nearly 6 months earlier. I just refused to grow up and accept the tasks God had given me to do.

My entire world was in that small town and I had enclosed God, The JNP and myself within its boundaries… I had to leave far too many friends and family. Especially my dear roommate Devin. Who by all means probably thinks I abandoned him in that dark icy town. Which by this time, the town was terribly iced over and snowed in… But little did he know that the decision was as much for him as it was for me. We both needed to grow up and find God’s Will, in a very, very bad way. The dream of the JNP and the band therein was going to destroy our friendship. Our selfish pride and arrogance had filled our eyes and taken us off course…

Through we strived to do God’s Will by the JNP, it would be by the JNP that God’s Will would be done. It was always said that the band of the JNP was going to fail, no matter whatever our efforts. The JNP was going to be a stepping stone to what God had instore for us next. Yet we decided to ride it out as long as possible. But for me, as of the 23rd, that ride had ended… It was terribly clear. The decision to leave was followed by a terrible illness that could not have been of this world. I had been sick ever since the previous Sunday when God spoke. The sickness was not a deterrence, but merely an assurance as strange as it may seem. The sickness was at its height while I was trying to pack on the 23rd when I threw up twice with nothing to throw up. But with the help of my dear steveo, I somehow managed to pack all my possession into that terribly small ford tarsus… Thank God for the packability of Tarsuses. I didn’t arrive home until the 28th….

The weather was so terrible that I had to stay with friends along my journey home… And it wasn’t until I finally arrived back home and I felt I that I had lost everything that God broke me completely and then the sickness was lifted… Take it as you will. But now we stand on the verge of something wonderful and amazing. We are only held back by our ambition and imagination.

The JNP as it very well may seem, has fallen like the shards of Narsil… But I tell you know, today is that day when we standup and follow our dreams…

For everyday is a new day and the world is ours… With the hope of Christ and with the joy of love in our hearts. Our desires become not of this world but of the heart of God which dwells in each us…
My brothers and Sisters…
This could be the end, when everything falls apart and we start again…
Every day….
This, our JNP day…